On black sheep and lost opportunities

Having been the appointed black sheep in my family thus allowing all kinds of stresses and dysfunction to be unloaded without having to confront dysfunctional emotions and allowing the dysfunctional system to continue taught me how to recognise the mechanisms which keep a black sheep a black sheep and the powers that be in power.

John Key leaving te Tii Marae “under Pressure” was just such an exercise. Here is why:

In order to keep a dysfunctional system in place everybody needs to stay in their designated role.

In a family this might goes as follows: Mum and dad have a dysfunctional relationship. In order to keep the relationship going they appoint one of their children as the trouble maker allowing them to release the build up of stress between them by venting anger over the perceived troubles of the child and thus allowing them to keep some form of bonding and peace between them. In order to proof to themselves that they are just trying to do the best they can with all their children and the “difficult” one in particular another child gets the role of the white dove or the kid that is just doing great due to their excellent parenting skills

Keep in mind that they do not consciously give these children these roles but may act out how they have been treated in their family unit.

One of the mechanisms to manipulate the situation is to push the designated black sheep with humiliation, verbal or physical violence to the point where it will start to act out at which point the parent can say “See, the child is difficult”.

My road to recovery and learning how to recognise what was going on started when my teachers pointed out there was an “Institute for Difficult Children” where I could get help. (I had some awesome teachers who really wanted to help and could see exactly what was going on it turned out)

This Insitute may have saved my life because they took me in and made me feel worth something and since I was able to legally escape the confines of my dysfunctional family the system which was kept in place through me as the difficult child collapsed. My parents divorced rather acrimoniously and while they tried to blame it on me I had a place where I had help and people to talk too who helped me keep it all in perspective.

My sister, who had no such help, stayed caught in the system and to this day is the victim of the vileness that is the bad child, good child system. It is to her compliment and that of her husband, himself a black sheep who had the luck to have parents who were willing to address themselves in family therapy in order to break the dysfunctionality that destroyed their family unit, that they have not passed the system on to their children who are growing up as sensible,  kind and fully functional young adults.

Why am I bothering you with these disturbing childhood memories you ask:

Well there is a similar system on a grander scale. It is brutal, destructive and potentially lethal on a war level scale. In fact more often than not war is the direct result of the kind of dysfunctionality described above. It is often the result of pathological and sociopathic systems and today we witnessed such dysfunctionality in it’s full horrific glory.

John Key visited te Tii Marae and “had to leave” because of “ugly activism”.

How many of you saw that coming? If you didn’t you may have been raised in the above good child-bad child system because many such adults seem to be incapable of seeing these situations for what they are when the occur. It is almost as if it is just to painful to see the reality of the rejection, manipulation and abuse.

Here is the analysis of what happened and what lead up to it. It started 3.5 half years ago when the National party managed to lure the Maori party to become part of the government. While Hone Harawira at the time was considered a rebel rouser he was very much a part of the Maori party and was for many the reason they voted for the Maori party in the first place so he was a much needed asset at the time.

It took some time but they managed to drive a wedge between the Moari leadership with Peta Scharples and Tariana Turia on one side and Hone Harawira and his policically awake Maori (and Pakeha I might add) activists on the other.

It was then that the humiliation, bullying and verbal abuse via the MSM began with the predictable result of Hone et all reacting at which point National could say “See he’s an ACTIVIST (difficult, racist, Maori bad boy take your pick).

Thus the bad child-good child system was introduced.

This is a great situation in a political system which is not based on serving the best interest of the entire population but only that of the chosen few just like the family setting (Where the dysfunctional relationship between the parents is served and not the needs of the children involved) of good versus bad is great for the parents but horrible for the children.

All you have to do if you need a distraction is push the buttons of the bad child to make him react and bingo all of the population who is presented with the nice domesticated Maori party leadership as the proof that Maori can function in the system can now identify with the ruling elite and be united with the Rich Pricks sucking them dry.

This morning John Key provoking the Maori activists for weeks with mining issues, disrespecting the treaty and being his unusual disingenuous arrogant self  with his announcement that he was taking the selling of assets to the Marae with not a sincere bone in his body could walk away smugly telling journalists that he wasn’t scared but that he felt it was a missed opportunity because “they” did not want to be “reasonable”.

And on Tuesday at the water cooler the ignorami will tell each other what a dick Hone is and how those loser Maoris should pull their head in while John Key makes his next move selling of NZ’s assets to his rich prick mates.

12 thoughts on “On black sheep and lost opportunities

  1. Thank-you for sharing your experiences and so eloquently. One develops quite differently psychologically when one is a black sheep in the family. It can give one a keen awareness of what is right and wrong. It worked well in your case.
    I was at Waitangi yesterday, and friends and I walked around late in the afternoon. At about 4.30pm-5.30pm. There was one protest sign hanging up on trees along a roadside, on a corner and a police car was parked in front of it. It was about stopping 1080 being used and mining. It looked as if the police car was deliberately hiding it.

    Another sign of a dysfunctional system. (Pardon the pun.)

    While the nastiness, lying and cheating goes on, the parents try and create an image to the world that everything is fine and the children are happy. Here is the photo: http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=345530635468120&set=a.345527335468450.79944.100000335603734&type=1&theater

    • Sorry Claire,

      I’m containing all this comment spam I was getting and it seems to work. You can comment now at your will and thank you for your response. In Holland we say you don’t hang out your dirty wash which meant children could not talk with outsiders about what was happening to them thus parents (and in this case politicians) could keep the system going.

  2. I really appreciate all your fine work EV – it’s extremely valuable. As a surviving black sheep from a very dysfunctional family, I find using that analogy in regard to the government (and those real entities running these systems we’re locked into) a spot-on one. It’s all part of the very clever manipulation to keep the more enlightened ones firmly under foot and in the “crazy” category. Character assassination is one of the simpler methods they use. (I just watched a ‘news report’ about a new JFK sex scandal. It seems you’re not safe even after they’ve murdered you). As far as your answer to Mick goes, “Don’t hold your breathe”, I feel the same way. The 99.99% have hundreds (or should I say thousands) of years of carefully planned and controlled brainwashing to overcome before any form of awakening will be possible. This will be difficult no doubt. Your diligent work (along with many others) may just bring about the 100th monkey sooner rather than later though. Keep up the great work EV. Much appreciated.

  3. thankyou for this it ans a lot of questions for me,,never knew what i did to deserve the title,,had the feeling i was the odd one out from a very young child, now in my 50’s my children get the treatment from my parents,,,thankyou again

  4. no need ,I’m a black sheep made good with 6 brothers and no sisters . Not that I’ve got any complaints about my up bringing ,I own all my “issues” hehehe .

    • Yep, such is the nature of a mature “Black sheep”. I own mine too. Sadly my sister is still trying to be the good child and gets absolutely hysterical if I tell her I won’t play the black sheep any more.

  5. Nice analogy ,I hope one day NZ gets a “great leader” again and before the country is owned by robber Barons .

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