Government urges return to stone age

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The White House and U.S. National Institute of Standards and Technology (NIST) are urging Americans to return to the stone age for their own safety.

“After discovering that ‘thermal expansion’ of steel from a low-temperature fire led to the collapse of World Trade Center building 7,” said NIST spokesperson Noh Wei, “we started realising that other metal objects might also be at risk”.

So NIST scientists tested other metallic objects using state-of-the-art computer models. The models predicted that every oven and barbecue in the country could disintegrate at any time, leading to a progressive collapse of entire houses.

“We also determined that car engines, airplane engines, and boat engines could all suddenly fail due to thermal expansion,” said Wei. “Indeed, we soon realised that almost all industrial processes could lead to catastrophic failure, other than, perhaps, those used in freezers.”

White House spokesman Phil Johnson agreed, saying

“Once you understand this principle of thermal expansion, you start to realise that even household shower heads and faucets are dangerous. The hot water flowing through them could wreak havoc. The President is committed to leading the way back to a safer time, and a return to proven, traditional materials – which may not be flashy like metal – but remain rock-solid even when warm.”

A Fact Sheet from NIST provides recommendations and safety guidelines based on the new thermal expansion discoveries:

Is Metal Safe?

While it was previously assumed that metal was safe, scientists have now discovered that steel and other metals can suddenly fail due to exposure to heat. NIST urges everyone to stop using metal, and to reassess possible replacements with stone materials.


Sunlight can warm up metal. Therefore, no metal should be used where any sun exposure is possible.

If people choose to continue using metal, we urge them to live underground, to protect against the dangers of sunlight.

It really is that ridiculous. The NIST rapported earlier this week that due to the thermal expansion of 1 massive steel floor support as a result of a low heat office fire in one of the most reinforced buildings in the world this entire building collapsed into its own foot print in less then 7 seconds.

If what they say is true you would not be able to put wood in your fireplace without it pulverising within 20 (the time an average office fire stays in one place and burns everything up) minutes. you would not be able to cook on your electric cooker because the elements would pulverise in to dust within 20 minutes.

That shower you take in your aluminium (melting point way lower than steel) shower? Forget it, no way 10 minutes and it would be gone. Thermal expansion you know.

So if the NIST is giving us this pathetic excuse for a rapport on the collapse of WTC 7than what else have they been wrong about?

Especially since three or four independent laboratories have corroborated the finds of prefessor Jones about there being thermite in the dust from the two Twin Towers and WTC 7

One thought on “Government urges return to stone age

  1. Pingback: Obama- Biden 2008

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